(Un)Bucket List

 Have you ever tried to make a list of things to do before you die? I have, and the attempt was most unsuccessful. I believe I have one on my Evernote app right now actually. This only thing on the list is "eat a whatchamacallit" which is one of the few domestic candy bars that I've never eaten but always wondered about. (Feel free to leave a comment about then if you're a fan) I think maybe one of the reasons that the idea of a bucket list never really took is that I would rather live my life celebrating what I've done instead of dwelling on things that I may do or never will. I suppose that sounds a bit melancholy but I don't mean it to sound that way. It's not that I think people who make big plans are just setting themselves up for disappointment, it's just that I think the greater events in someones life will seem even greater when you add a dash of spontaneity to them.

Unfortunately for most people spontaneous events usually require the deep and thoughtful planning of someone who loves them. For example, when I was ten years old my mother surprised me (well sort of) with a trip to Disney World on my tenth (golden) birthday. Now there's something that I would've had on a bucket list, but Julie both added it and scratched it off for me. Sure I want to go back, and sure almost everyone has been there, but to me that was an act of love that basically forged my disinterest in trying to gift myself. Furthermore I almost feel like the random acts of kindness I receive from other people, not just including my mother, make giving something great back to those people feel even better.

 I'm not saying you shouldn't take yourself on a trip or that you should expect someone else to. I'm saying that bucket lists have the power to turn your life from an "I did" to an "I should have". I don't want to live like that. I have enough regrets in my life right now without trying to prepare some more to experience down the road. I'm excited to take turns with my eyes closed. I'm excited to see what I do for myself, for others, and what other people do for me in return.