Seniors vs. Kids: Who sucks more?

Hello again my loving fans! I bet all three of you are just dying for a new blog about a new blog featuring my complaints! What's that? There's only two of you now? Oh, well, that's fine I suppose. It could be worse I could be a stripper like this girl, or a tiny asian lesbian like this one. Yay for shameless plugs! (seriously, check out those blogs) Anyways today We're not just complaining, we're going to make a list! Once and for all we're going to find out who is worse to be around: children, or old poeple! Read on for more offensive paragraphs!


Let's start with a quick explaination. I don't hate your kids, or your grandparents. Well, maybe your grandparents but we'll get to that in a minute. It's just that these two groups of people act so similar that I wanted to express what positives and negatives I've come to know and love/hate about them both. They say that with age comes wisdom and that out of the mouths of babves and blah blah blah. Well I'm going to put this out there: I don't rightfully trust the opinion of anyone who shits their pants on a regular basis.


Of course there are kids that I like and old people that I like. I love all my little cousins to death and definitely wouldn't trip them while they were running towards some stairs. Also my grandparents are amazing and I couldn't have asked for two better people to spoil me rotten. But let's pretend for a second that you would at, let's say, a restaurant and/or a clothing store, and you have to deal with all the shitty kids, old people and everybody in between. You'd notice pretty quick the demographics that you'd like to avoid the most, trust me. 


Kids...


I think what displeases me most about children is that they're miniature versions of the types of adults I hate the most: people who have nearly nothing intelligent to say but for some evil fucking reason cannot stop talking. Seems harsh I know, but I feel like if the kid's parents aren't smart enough (and they usually aren't) to at the very least teach the kid that inane babble doesn't get you anywhere in life then I shouldn't be subjected to said babble. Also kids mess up fucking EVERYTHING. They want to explore, and touch, and bend, and submerge, and pull, and bite, and hit things. I just wish some of those things weren't made of glass and I wish some of the things those kids mess up weren't something that I have to clean. Then again I suppose you could blame that sort of stuff on their parents. Simply put, I just don't need to interact wit ha child when I have plenty of friends (and myself) who already do. 


Old people...
I dislike old people because of their shitty demeanor towards life. They dislike teenagers, but like their adolescent counterparts seniors too seem to have this unrelenting entitled attitude. THEIR medications should be filled first, THEY should get a discount, THEY deserve free health care, THEY shouldn't be forced to play the hunger games. It's like I get it, you've made it a little further than everyone else, you deserve a little reward. Well I'll tell you what that reward shouldn't be: being allowed to drive when you're half blind, being allowed to vote for someone who will totally fuck up the country (while you'll be dead soon and not have to worry about it), and being allowed to say racist, sexist, and just downright evil shit. I hate when I'm at work and some old fart acts like I'm the only one keeping them from getting their way. I'm not the black servant that you grew up with, times have changed, grow up or die early please.


Now let's get down to business. I have a very scientific and well thought out chart that I've composed that illustrates some of the attributes that may or may not be shared by the very old and the very young. (Yes, the chart was made in paint)

(very, VERY, scientific)

It's seems as though it's a bit of a tie? Maybe? I don't know look, it's as close as I can get without doing surveys. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this blog. (Haha j/k u mad bro?) So now it's time for all of my readers to do that thing they never do and chime in! What do you think you two? Who would you rather be stuck on an island with? Someone you could potentially make into a slave, or someone you could potentially eat sooner and nearly guilt free?