The Other Side

Holy balls. Did you read that last post of mine? Depressing as shit! Well I've got news for you emo Mike; you're going away for a while. At least until the next girl dumps you anyways. So what's new with happy fun cool Mike you ask? Well read on for my latest thoughts on science, religion, and none of the above!

The End

Her stuff is packed up. It's sitting ironically in the same box she brought my stuff in. I wish I could say this is the worst part. This must be how conservative pro-lifers feel when they're forced to get abortions for health reasons. I'll be honest, you're not going to want to read this post. I'm really just trying to get this shit off my chest and this is the way I've been doing that lately. I understand that she might read this and she might not, but maybe if she does I will have, at the very least, shown that I put some thought into what I am about to say. Or she'll think this is the icing on the immaturity cake... Sorry.

You Suck If.... (part one)

You suck if...

How Osama Probably Died.

So since it was announced in May that Osama Bin Laden was killed people have been in a state of confusion over how exactly he died. I guess the official story is that he was killed by a special forces team in a firefight but we all know that news sources are about as trustworthy as a nymphomaniac in an elevator when it comes to the Middle East. So to clear things up I've compiled a list of the most likely ways that Bin Laden actually died.

Handouts

Hello fans! Sorry I've been absent for so long but you must understand that it's far easier to put off your blog when it's not a class requirement. There hasn't been much news in my life since my last post. Well sort of... Kenny and I no longer live together. I've been staying with Emma and also couch crashing at my friend Tara's new place. I should probably give her a shout out at this point as well since she's one of the only real fans of my blog. (Hi Tara!) Anyways Let's get down to the nitty gritty topic of the day; handouts

Bar Blog #1

I've decide to start a new miniseries of blogs. The idea behind it is that I will blog from various bars I go to describing my time there. Obviously I won't be able to do this at every bar and especially not on the weekends so these things probably won't be all that interesting, but I'm going to do them anyways for funsies. Tonight I'm at the Burrito Union. Let's see what's happening!

The Mifflin Street Block Party

Every year in Madison there is an epic shit show of drunks that's called the Mifflin Street Block Party. Basically two blocks on Mifflin Street are blocked off and college students drink their faces off for the day. Normally the rule is that you can only be consuming alcohol on privately owned property, meaning if you get caught drinking anywhere but in someone's yard or house or porch you get arrested. This year they amended the rules so that you are allowed to drink anything on the street as long as it's not in a glass container. Well this year it was even more of a blast, and I thought I'd give a little recap.

E-Social Norms

I just googled my name. Most of the hits have to do with me, including my google profile, my facebook page, my twitter page, my old myspace page , (how embarrassing) and some classmates.com page for my old elementary school that I don't remember making. I remember the first time I was introduced to the internet I was told that you weren't even supposed to tell people your first name because even with that they could send you viruses, steal your identity, and then track you down and rape you. Now maybe they just told us that because we were kids and the internet was a relatively new and scary place, and I've seen enough episodes of To Catch A Predator to know that shit is totally possible. But I think that the social aspects and safety of the internet, while still being quite dangerous, have changed a lot since I was a kid. Let's talk about it NOW!

People In My Life

This isn't going to be a countdown list because I don't really like to pick favorites. I realize you must be thinking "hey now Mike, by making this list aren't you doing just that? Hmm? What about that shit asshat?" Well first of all, don't call me names, and secondly, I may be picking favorites, but just because you're left off of this list doesn't mean I don't think you kick ass. It just means that I either I just plain forgot (and everyone knows you only forget the important things) or couldn't come up with a paragraph of praise for you. It's just best to assume that you kick ass of your own merits. Anyways her are the fab nine I could think of.

The Adventures of Mike the Outlaw: Episode 2

This story of my unlawful exploits contains some police work that is slightly impressive and some that is slightly disgraceful. Now I know I make it seem like I hate the police but the truth is I don't. I just really dislike the police. I think that it's strange that people that have one of the highest paying jobs that require arguably one of the smallest amounts of actually education get to walk around with handguns and handcuffs barking orders at everyone else and intimidating anyone who slightly annoys them. Not that there aren't damn good cops out there, I just feel like I don't get to meet many of them.

End of Semester Slacking

Well I've officially sunken into the worst of the school lethargy. I'm sick of my homework,  my classes, I just don't want to do it. I've had a talk with a few friends and it would seem that most of them share my pain and wish that some sort of Hogwarts scenario would go down where we didn't have to take finals because some kid found the chamber of secrets. Despite my nerdy hopes of school cancellations,  the classes will continue and the exams will undoubtedly plague for at least a week. But I don't know, I can think of other reasons why the last couple months of school are particularly the worst.

Reconnections

I was inspired today by a blog I did a couple weeks ago where I mentioned losing touch with your friends. The reason I was reminded about it was actually a person. When I lived in Madison I had this friend named Casandra. We met in a (composition?) class at Herzing University and became friends quickly. We once went on an adventure around Madison in the middle of the night, getting lost several times, but also finding one of the coolest overlooks of the city there is. Casandra and I lost touch about three months before I left for Duluth, but recently she found me out of the blue and it was really nice to hear from her.

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String....

So I forgot to mention that recently I got meself a new laptop. Yeah it's pretty swanky. I especially dig the keypad that automatically lights up when this little sensor decides that the room is too dark. Does it surprise you to know that I look at my hands when I type? Probably not. I think almost everyone does. I remember when I was taking piano lessons I was told that a good pianist looks at the music and not the keys. That way  you can see what you need to play next. I was way more about memorizing the music and  then looking at my hands to play it. Now I'm terrible at sight reading music, but I tell you something I kick musics ass when I have it memorized. Anyways I'm getting off topic. The reason I mentioned the computer in the first place was because I wanted to blog a list of my favorite possessions, besides the computer of course. Unlike the computer these things may not have cash value, but rather are dear to my heart. Plus they have pictures! I don't know how long the list will be either, I'm just going to start with item one and stop when I don't feel like telling you about my shit anymore. Here we go.

Emma and Mike's Road Trip

Well I just got back from vacation with my girlfriend Emma and it was quite the adventure! We took about four days (not counting the recovery day) and drove roughly 550 miles all around Minnesota and Wisconsin.  In case you didn't know we took a trip to Stillwater and then went to a second chance prom in Siren. I had so much fun and really came to appreciate Emma's companionship during the journey.I find it so hard to find people who I can tolerate for a long road trip, but also finding people who can tolerate me. Let me give you a brief account of our journey through the power of electronic text! Bam!

A whole lotta nuthin'

Do you know how big of a pain it is to find a single bedroom apartment? This blows dude. I had a place in January but I hesitated to grab it up and now I lost the opportunity. Fuckbeans. Anyways this post isn't going to be about anything in particular so if you'd rather read something with direction I suggest skipping this one. 

The Adventures of Mike the Outlaw: Episode 1

Breaking the law almost always has an element of fun. I don't mean murder or rape, dicks. I mean little stuff like speeding, skipping school or throwing frozen grapes at old people. One thing I like about breaking the law is that if you get caught, it can still make for a pretty funny story. If you break the law in Wisconsin, the record of your violation is kept online and is free to access on the Wisconsin Circuit Court Access webpage. You can type just about anyone's name into the thing and find records of their dirty deeds, usually in pretty good detail. Well I'm going to save you the trouble with a new series of blogs I am going to call The Adventures of Mike the Outlaw!

Barely worth reading

So it's been a while since my last post and there's a reason for that. I'm hitting one of those dreadful mid semester walls. I think everyone has had that feeling where they don't really feel like finishing the semester and would almost rather take a C in every class and call it good. Well last week I was sick with influenza. I call it influenza and not "the flu" because I think that's a stupid abbreviation for a virus. You don't call lukemia "the lukes". Anyways that was really just the catalyst for this feeling I think but the lapse has thrown off everything in my life so I think for my make-up blog I'm just going to do some bitching.

Five things I'm probably better at than you are

Hello again!  In a desperate attempt to fill my quota for the journal assignment that this blog is a part of, I have decided to do two blogs today. (I might do three seeing as how I need one more after this but we'll see if I feel that redundant) Now today I was watching The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which is possibly the best documentary of all time and if you haven't seen it you're a blithering dolt. Anyways while I was watching the film there was a quote that sparked my interest. The quote was from Steve Weibe's brother and it was something like "[Not many people know someone who is the best in the world at something]" it got me thinking and while I do not claim to be the best in the world at any one thing I do think there are things that I'm probably better at than most anyone who will read this. They may not be useful things, but I'm damn good at them and proud enough of it to share it on the internet. So please, enjoy my list of five things I'm probably better at than you are.

The Magical Laundromat

Hello loved ones. before I begin my topic for the day I just want to say how severely annoyed I am with my assignments today. I understand that I'm in college right now and as a college student I should expect a higher workload. I'm a fully capable adult who could be able to balance his time in a mature way. That being said I wish all of my teachers would do that thing that all of us college students want them to and realize that we're taking more than one class with homework. I won't name any names though.


 Enough of that. Let me now take you on a magical journey through one of my favorite places of wonder; The Laundromat!

Zodiac signs (yes, they ARE bullshit)

So for a few weeks now I have been aware of this super futile "uproar" about the zodiac sign changes that the Minnesota Planetarium Society announced earlier this year. The gist of the message is that the moon's gravitational pull on the Earth actually offset the wobble of the Earths rotation and pushed the positions of the stars and constellations by a month. It's funny to me that so many people made a big deal about it because the whole zodiac this is really nothing more than a silly novelty, like unicorns, pixies, and invisible friends in the sky. (oops) Read on to hear my thoughts on the farce that is "astrology".

Valentine Thoughts

Greetings everyone! To those of you who are blessed with the company of someone to call you valentine I wish you the happiest and most disgustingly cute valentines day ever! To the rest of you I want you to know that while I cannot speak of behalf of the single populous, you can rest assured that tomorrow couples around you won't feel the need to pretend that they give more of a shit about each other than anyone else does. "Ah sweet reprieve!" is what you might be thinking at this point, but unfortunately for you I've decided that today I'm going to share a few senseless thoughts on LOVE. Awww!

zzz... a rant about sleep... zzz

Today I was thinking that I wish the writing that I do in this class would be graded on its quality rather than its frequency. I can babble on about anything for a good page or two but what I believe to be my really great ideas and writing usually don't come out of my head all that often. It's a shame really because it also makes me realize that the majority of the things I write are worthless, which vicariously leads me to question the caliber of the writing that I did put thought into. Does that make sense? I'm just rambling I guess, but if you're in the mood to read more stuff like that feel free to continue.

It occurred to me just now that this is supposed to be my "journal assignment" portion of this class. Does it still apply if I make it clear that I'm writing to an audience? I mean I address you, the reader, in all of my entries but that's not very journalistic. I hardly care but I suppose it is for a grade and I'm wondering if the teacher for this class is sitting there reading this thinking "Now he gets it" to herself. Shit this better be worth something, nobody should have to blog this much. Anyways I'm bored with my own rambling and I've come up with a topic to write a bit about. I'm going to talk about sleep.

Superpowers!

Today I wanted to step off the complaint train and into a brighter topic. What kind of optimist would I be if every time I posted one of these rants it contained nothing but discontent and all around bitchy. It's time to get off your period Mike and start talking about something that will brighten someones day when they read it. I picked superpowers! I've been thinking about this all week and I've decided to pass the thoughts onto you, the consumer! So please read on!

The city that never met my expectations

Today I feel like talking about Duluth. Before I start I want every Duluthian who reads this to know that I don't harbor any ill feelings towards you. I'm just stating how I feel and if you have any gripe with that feel free to bring it up. Some of you already know I feel this way and if you don't want to hear it all over again don't bother reading any further.

(Un)Bucket List

 Have you ever tried to make a list of things to do before you die? I have, and the attempt was most unsuccessful. I believe I have one on my Evernote app right now actually. This only thing on the list is "eat a whatchamacallit" which is one of the few domestic candy bars that I've never eaten but always wondered about. (Feel free to leave a comment about then if you're a fan) I think maybe one of the reasons that the idea of a bucket list never really took is that I would rather live my life celebrating what I've done instead of dwelling on things that I may do or never will. I suppose that sounds a bit melancholy but I don't mean it to sound that way. It's not that I think people who make big plans are just setting themselves up for disappointment, it's just that I think the greater events in someones life will seem even greater when you add a dash of spontaneity to them.

A funny (and slightly sexy) dream

 Hello! Today I've decide to give out a little information. Today is January 22nd, which is the anniversary of the births of DJ Jazzy Jeff and John Hurt, who is one of my favorite English actors. Today also marks the anniversary of the deaths of Heath Ledger and Lyndon B. Johnson. 

 Anyways I was sifting through old draft e-mails and I came across a dream that I had written down for some reason. I thought it was worth sharing so I've decided to incorporate it into my blog today. This dream I think was written down in 2009 I think. So yeah, here it is. Hooray!

Hello again

Today as I was driving my girlfriend to school I had an idea for a story, book, movie, video game, or something along those lines. This idea stemmed from a bit of information I have been thinking about for several weeks which I will now share with you.

Welcome me!

So this blog has been started as a creative writing project. I weighed the option of writing it down in a journal and keeping it under wraps but in the end I decided that the thoughts, ideas, and ramblings that happen to travel through my mind are much too important to not be shared with the world. That being said, let's start talking about my day.