The Adventures of Mike the Outlaw: Episode 1

Breaking the law almost always has an element of fun. I don't mean murder or rape, dicks. I mean little stuff like speeding, skipping school or throwing frozen grapes at old people. One thing I like about breaking the law is that if you get caught, it can still make for a pretty funny story. If you break the law in Wisconsin, the record of your violation is kept online and is free to access on the Wisconsin Circuit Court Access webpage. You can type just about anyone's name into the thing and find records of their dirty deeds, usually in pretty good detail. Well I'm going to save you the trouble with a new series of blogs I am going to call The Adventures of Mike the Outlaw!

Barely worth reading

So it's been a while since my last post and there's a reason for that. I'm hitting one of those dreadful mid semester walls. I think everyone has had that feeling where they don't really feel like finishing the semester and would almost rather take a C in every class and call it good. Well last week I was sick with influenza. I call it influenza and not "the flu" because I think that's a stupid abbreviation for a virus. You don't call lukemia "the lukes". Anyways that was really just the catalyst for this feeling I think but the lapse has thrown off everything in my life so I think for my make-up blog I'm just going to do some bitching.

Five things I'm probably better at than you are

Hello again!  In a desperate attempt to fill my quota for the journal assignment that this blog is a part of, I have decided to do two blogs today. (I might do three seeing as how I need one more after this but we'll see if I feel that redundant) Now today I was watching The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which is possibly the best documentary of all time and if you haven't seen it you're a blithering dolt. Anyways while I was watching the film there was a quote that sparked my interest. The quote was from Steve Weibe's brother and it was something like "[Not many people know someone who is the best in the world at something]" it got me thinking and while I do not claim to be the best in the world at any one thing I do think there are things that I'm probably better at than most anyone who will read this. They may not be useful things, but I'm damn good at them and proud enough of it to share it on the internet. So please, enjoy my list of five things I'm probably better at than you are.

The Magical Laundromat

Hello loved ones. before I begin my topic for the day I just want to say how severely annoyed I am with my assignments today. I understand that I'm in college right now and as a college student I should expect a higher workload. I'm a fully capable adult who could be able to balance his time in a mature way. That being said I wish all of my teachers would do that thing that all of us college students want them to and realize that we're taking more than one class with homework. I won't name any names though.


 Enough of that. Let me now take you on a magical journey through one of my favorite places of wonder; The Laundromat!

Zodiac signs (yes, they ARE bullshit)

So for a few weeks now I have been aware of this super futile "uproar" about the zodiac sign changes that the Minnesota Planetarium Society announced earlier this year. The gist of the message is that the moon's gravitational pull on the Earth actually offset the wobble of the Earths rotation and pushed the positions of the stars and constellations by a month. It's funny to me that so many people made a big deal about it because the whole zodiac this is really nothing more than a silly novelty, like unicorns, pixies, and invisible friends in the sky. (oops) Read on to hear my thoughts on the farce that is "astrology".

Valentine Thoughts

Greetings everyone! To those of you who are blessed with the company of someone to call you valentine I wish you the happiest and most disgustingly cute valentines day ever! To the rest of you I want you to know that while I cannot speak of behalf of the single populous, you can rest assured that tomorrow couples around you won't feel the need to pretend that they give more of a shit about each other than anyone else does. "Ah sweet reprieve!" is what you might be thinking at this point, but unfortunately for you I've decided that today I'm going to share a few senseless thoughts on LOVE. Awww!

zzz... a rant about sleep... zzz

Today I was thinking that I wish the writing that I do in this class would be graded on its quality rather than its frequency. I can babble on about anything for a good page or two but what I believe to be my really great ideas and writing usually don't come out of my head all that often. It's a shame really because it also makes me realize that the majority of the things I write are worthless, which vicariously leads me to question the caliber of the writing that I did put thought into. Does that make sense? I'm just rambling I guess, but if you're in the mood to read more stuff like that feel free to continue.

It occurred to me just now that this is supposed to be my "journal assignment" portion of this class. Does it still apply if I make it clear that I'm writing to an audience? I mean I address you, the reader, in all of my entries but that's not very journalistic. I hardly care but I suppose it is for a grade and I'm wondering if the teacher for this class is sitting there reading this thinking "Now he gets it" to herself. Shit this better be worth something, nobody should have to blog this much. Anyways I'm bored with my own rambling and I've come up with a topic to write a bit about. I'm going to talk about sleep.

Superpowers!

Today I wanted to step off the complaint train and into a brighter topic. What kind of optimist would I be if every time I posted one of these rants it contained nothing but discontent and all around bitchy. It's time to get off your period Mike and start talking about something that will brighten someones day when they read it. I picked superpowers! I've been thinking about this all week and I've decided to pass the thoughts onto you, the consumer! So please read on!

The city that never met my expectations

Today I feel like talking about Duluth. Before I start I want every Duluthian who reads this to know that I don't harbor any ill feelings towards you. I'm just stating how I feel and if you have any gripe with that feel free to bring it up. Some of you already know I feel this way and if you don't want to hear it all over again don't bother reading any further.

(Un)Bucket List

 Have you ever tried to make a list of things to do before you die? I have, and the attempt was most unsuccessful. I believe I have one on my Evernote app right now actually. This only thing on the list is "eat a whatchamacallit" which is one of the few domestic candy bars that I've never eaten but always wondered about. (Feel free to leave a comment about then if you're a fan) I think maybe one of the reasons that the idea of a bucket list never really took is that I would rather live my life celebrating what I've done instead of dwelling on things that I may do or never will. I suppose that sounds a bit melancholy but I don't mean it to sound that way. It's not that I think people who make big plans are just setting themselves up for disappointment, it's just that I think the greater events in someones life will seem even greater when you add a dash of spontaneity to them.

A funny (and slightly sexy) dream

 Hello! Today I've decide to give out a little information. Today is January 22nd, which is the anniversary of the births of DJ Jazzy Jeff and John Hurt, who is one of my favorite English actors. Today also marks the anniversary of the deaths of Heath Ledger and Lyndon B. Johnson. 

 Anyways I was sifting through old draft e-mails and I came across a dream that I had written down for some reason. I thought it was worth sharing so I've decided to incorporate it into my blog today. This dream I think was written down in 2009 I think. So yeah, here it is. Hooray!

Hello again

Today as I was driving my girlfriend to school I had an idea for a story, book, movie, video game, or something along those lines. This idea stemmed from a bit of information I have been thinking about for several weeks which I will now share with you.

Welcome me!

So this blog has been started as a creative writing project. I weighed the option of writing it down in a journal and keeping it under wraps but in the end I decided that the thoughts, ideas, and ramblings that happen to travel through my mind are much too important to not be shared with the world. That being said, let's start talking about my day.