Five things I'm probably better at than you are

Hello again!  In a desperate attempt to fill my quota for the journal assignment that this blog is a part of, I have decided to do two blogs today. (I might do three seeing as how I need one more after this but we'll see if I feel that redundant) Now today I was watching The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which is possibly the best documentary of all time and if you haven't seen it you're a blithering dolt. Anyways while I was watching the film there was a quote that sparked my interest. The quote was from Steve Weibe's brother and it was something like "[Not many people know someone who is the best in the world at something]" it got me thinking and while I do not claim to be the best in the world at any one thing I do think there are things that I'm probably better at than most anyone who will read this. They may not be useful things, but I'm damn good at them and proud enough of it to share it on the internet. So please, enjoy my list of five things I'm probably better at than you are.








#5 - Making weird noises with my mouth

Yeah for some reason I can make some of the most fucked up noises using nothing but my mouth. Like no vocal cord involvement whatsoever. I can make countless popping, farting, squelching, slurping, smacking, and clicking noises. I doubt it would make me a good beat boxer, but I betcha I can talk to babies better than most folks can.

#4 -Soul Caliber 2


 No joke. If you're reading this I can probably beat your ass senseless in that game. I once took no prisoners in a small tournament at a dorm in Steven's Point and based on this lose information I'm pretty sure I could come away with at least 12th place in a national competition or something. Or maybe I'm just blowing smoke. Naw, I really do kick ass.


#3- Collecting techno music


 Remember, I never said these talents were useful. Besides that, show me someone else you know with a good 200 gigs of techno on their hard drive. The thing is though, when I say "techno" I really mean electronic music in general (trance, house, electro, etc.) I just say "techno" because that's what everyone seems to call music that sounds "computery".


#2 - Writing songs about really obscure and nerdy topics

Yes, it is true that I was once in a band, no autographs please. While I was in that band we did all sorts of songs about life, love, video games, etc. Interestingly enough though, our best songs were the ones that weren't serious. In fact I think our biggest hits were about a burrito, Harry Potter, pedophilia, and a cover by The Beats, a fictitious band from the Nickelodeon cartoon "Doug". Not that we didn't have REALLY well written serious songs, it's just that I think the goofy ones were enjoyed by a far broader audience. Who doesn't love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ya know? The only reason I don't think I'm the absolute best is because of people like MC Chris, MC Lars, and other nerdcore musicians.

#1 - Resident Evil history and storyline arcs

The GAMES you plebeians. Not those fucking shitty ass abominations that Hollywood produced. (though I probably know more about those than you do too) It seems only fitting that my best talent is also arguably the most useless, but I take pride in knowing things about the history behind the games that would make your head spin. Things about William Birkin, every class of Tyrant, as well as separate strains of the T and G virus. Yeah, I know, totally nerd. I like this though, and if you have a problem with it kiss my ass. I bet you have worthless hobbies too.