Valentine Thoughts

Greetings everyone! To those of you who are blessed with the company of someone to call you valentine I wish you the happiest and most disgustingly cute valentines day ever! To the rest of you I want you to know that while I cannot speak of behalf of the single populous, you can rest assured that tomorrow couples around you won't feel the need to pretend that they give more of a shit about each other than anyone else does. "Ah sweet reprieve!" is what you might be thinking at this point, but unfortunately for you I've decided that today I'm going to share a few senseless thoughts on LOVE. Awww!



So what exactly is love? Is love that funny fluttery feeling you get when you see someone? Maybe love is tolerating your boyfriends back hair or your girlfriends endless supply of purses, shoes, or gimmicky perfume. But no, that can't be it. Want to know what I think? Well of course you do! 

Love is:

Great! It's like someone shot you with a syringe of some super narcotic that has no physical side effects and keeps you high for months off of one dose! Everyone (well, maybe everyone) knows what loving someone is like. That person is usually right, they're the hottest person in the world, and you'll be damned if every lovey-dovey song, poem, or movie wasn't written about the two of you. In fact, the very idea that anyone anywhere could feel the same way you do is positively ridiculous. This is a good feeling (even though it makes all of your friends wish that you would loose your voice) and I have to say a lot of the people I've loved in my life have gotten me through some hard times just by existing. My advice for you is to make sure that the person you love has everyone reason to feel the same way about you.

 Love is:

Fucking ANNOYING! Holy shit you freaks no one cares if you like the same baby names. The fact that your are both dog people IS just a coincidence and the next time you two swoon I swear I'll carve little heart shaped holes in your tires! Yeah we've all been in this position too. I think it's funny that I've felt this way about two people even while I was in a relationship.  Maybe half of it is the jealousy you feel when you see a new couple and their still in that honeymoon phase. My best advice? If you're single, congratulations! You have the world on your hand and there are a million dicks, pussies, assholes, or whatever else you're into to plant the seed of a new relationship. (Because let's face it, if the sex isn't good what's the fucking point?) If you're not single but you're somewhat unhappy with your relationship then shit, weigh your odds and do something about it. If you think things can be fixed or maybe they're just dull right now then spice it up! How you ask? I don't know braniac! If there was a universal way to approach dull relationships there would be a shitty book on the subject. (actually I'm sure there is)

Love is:

Basically undefinable. The reason it's so hard to give (and take) advice on relationship and love is that when you get past the generalities every relationship is very different. I mean think about it. Do you know any two people who are exactly alike? Of course not. We're all fucked up in our own special little ways. So when we decide that we're stable enough to have a relationship with someone else we sort of have to realize that "undefinable person A" added to "undefinable person B" does not make "Super Controllable Easy To Understand and Manage Relationship C" Not that I don't love giving love advice to people when they ask for it. I just think most of the problems people come across in their relationships are complex questions and they're so burnt out from the situation that they really just want a simple yes or no answer. If it gets that easy for any of you let me know. It should be documented.

So that's a few thoughts on love. Do any of you have thoughts on love? What it is or isn't? Let me know or shut the hell up!